I'm drive I can fine osifer
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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