Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am one with the molecules
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
