I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
