I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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