Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
