he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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