Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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