Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
