Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
