we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
