I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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