ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize