I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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