I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
