would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
