if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
