She is in my trunk
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
