That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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