I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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