At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
