I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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