Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
