if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
