ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
