I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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