my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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