Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
