My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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