Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
