don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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