just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome