please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.