I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.