Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual