You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"