I looked at my own cervix.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
where are my eyebrows?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
