i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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