so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
