i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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