we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
