So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
