I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize