the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
