If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
