I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
