I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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