you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize