I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
