I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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