Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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