Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
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I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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