me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
