You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
