did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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