shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize