I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
