I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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