I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The power of my boobs compel you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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