shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
