found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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