i permit you to call me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
