For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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