it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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